At retreat last week, Shannon had us all spend one hour doing some sort of service. We had been talking a bit about the scene in which Jesus washes His disciples’ feet, and how had they ultimately refused for that to happen, they totally missed the point of what He was all about. Without them being able to receive that from Jesus, and receiving it both on a literal physical level and knowing what it felt like emotionally for that to happen, they wouldn’t have been able to follow the next command of continuing to wash one another’s feet. Practically speaking, it was pretty gross thing to do. But after being on the receiving end of it, they had a more real motivation to follow that command. Jesus didn’t give them this random command to go wash people’s feet, but first had his disciples receive it, so that they could go out authentically.
So following that, Shannon challenged us each to spend the next hour serving someone(s). Initially I think I was like…ummm, here? What can I possibly do in one room with 50 other Christians all trying to serve one another? So as a group we started, somewhat awkwardly, to think of ways to serve one another. Some people wrote cards, gave massages, taught others something, listened, prayed, cleaned, talked…etc. I think the list of things to do was surprisingly long, at least for me, after about 15 minutes of time doing that. But it created an interesting atmosphere, because after a while, we all realized that for the service to actually ‘work,’ people had to receive from those around them. And when there are about 50 people in a room, relatively limited in their potential acts of service due to time and place, pretty much everyone had to receive from someone else, in that hour, in addition to serving.
And it caught me off guard when my initial response to that receiving was ‘no, this is my time for serving, i’m not allowed to receive now.’ So then God was like, ‘well Stef, you missed the point too.’ It isn’t possible to serve in a room full of people not willing to receive. And it makes the service frustrating. And I feel like that might be how our relationship with God is a lot of the time. Like we’ll receive up to a certain point, and then feel like, ok, you’ve given me enough, I have to give back.
The setting for that hour was one that modeled I think how I would picture the phrase ‘heaven on earth’ lived out. The service was creative, thoughtful, communal, unifying, loving, and sometimes not how I think we typically picture ‘service.’ So what I mean by that….you know that feeling of joy you get when you give a friend a present or card or something that you’re really excited for them to open and see?
And I think I question often if that feeling belongs in acts of service…if it means I’m doing it for myself, to get those feelings. And sometimes I think that’s true for everyone- we’ve all got hidden motivations and impurities in our actions a lot of the time. But this hour was good to remind me that someone else receiving my service, and me allowing myself to be excited for them, or happy that they liked it, is often me allowing myself to receive their service to me of receiving. So…allowing them to serve me by receiving their joy that came about because I tried to serve them. I don’t know if that came out right. But let’s face it, we like to make people happy, and that isn’t a bad thing. And so following that, it is then necessary to receive from other people, to allow them to have that felling of joy so that ultimately, that receiving from others serves them. And yeah, like anything, that can and does get distorted. But in that hour, it felt right, and it was very cool to feel service and receiving come together, and see them coexist not only within the same hour, but sometimes in the same few minutes. And that’s what I think helped define friendship with God and with people for me.
And in the world of non-retreat-time, it is really easy to get overwhelmed by the needs of the people we see. Actually, it is really possible to get overwhelmed by the needs of 50 Christians in a room for an hour also. And that really clearly reminded me that that feeling of overwhelmingness (that a word?) can overpower the original reason for service- that it isn’t to meet the needs of everyone and lift them up, but to seek and follow through with ways of serving that lift up Jesus, imitate Him, and create a spirit of service that lasts when there is overwhelming need, when the service isn’t overtly fun, when it’s risky, when it’s hard, when it’s washing someone’s gross and dirty feet.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Ah, I remember that retreat. Good times.
It's funny that you talk about giving and receiving. I mean, those two qualities are really what separates a community from an individual. The only purpose in having a diverse collection of individuals, and calling them a community, is if some sort of interaction is taking place between them. An interaction between individuals invariably takes the form of giving and receiving.
It's interesting that economics focuses almost exclusively on one particular sort of interaction, namely that of exchange. This is where individuals simultaneously give and receive, and the two are inextricably related. A thing is given 'in payment for' the thing received, and both parties to the exchange must simultaneously value the thing owned by the other more than the thing they themselves possess.
Yet what separates a functioning community from a marketplace is the decoupling of giving and receiving. It suddenly becomes possible for a person to give or receive without expecting repayment.
Yet in our fallen world there are always strings attached. Often when a person gives without demanding anything in return, they still are getting their money's worth, whether in being owed a debt of gratitude, or in the esteem of others. In our sinful existence, it is still nearly impossible to separate the act of giving and the act of receiving.
Ultimately, the market fails to provide a just allocation of resources. For a community to bind receiving inextricably to giving is for that community to be broken. Exchange is not the basis for the most lasting and fruitful relationships in life, and it is not the basis for our relationship with God. Rather, as we received freely from God, so are we to give freely to others.
It took me a minute understand your point about feeling good when others serve - that we sometimes feel guilty feeling good when we serve someone, but that's really just masked pride - but it's very true.
It's well documented that we're by default selfish and bad at giving, but we're also monumentally bad at receiving. We don't want to be in someone else's debt, or we don't want to admit that we could use someone else's help.
Other times we are legitimately embarrassed when others praise our service, because we realize that we are only unprofitable servants doing what we were told, and we can't take credit for the good anyway. We honestly hadn't noticed that what we were doing was so good, but we're flattered to hear our Jesus is using us.
Pastor Aaron gave a great analogy for this experience when we went through Pentecost. Tongues as of fire came down from above and rested on each of the apostles' heads. The apostles would be able to see the flames on one another's heads, but not the one that rested on his own.
So, when we're filled with the Spirit and doing Jesus's works, we don't notice the flames resting on our own heads. But we can see in our friends' deeds the amazing works of our Lord.
It's important that we tell one another about these flames. Since we can't see the flames on ourselves, it's encouraging to hear that they are there. It also brings glory to Jesus to have his works proclaimed.
We just shouldn't take any credit. When we do that our heads tend to swell and the flames tend to flicker.
Post a Comment